My Elaborate Conspiracy (Satire mostly)

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The Corona Conspiracy: As it stands, society as we know it will fall. The Coronavirus, or COVID 19 is a plot to destroy Capitalist Democracy. Let it be known that this is China’s way of spreading communism to the world.

I am going to prove that China is playing 4D chess, when we are still playing checkers. Let’s start off with the facts:

  • COVID 19 or Coronavirus started when it mutated from an infected Pangolin in the Wuhan District, one of the busiest manufacturing centres in the world.

  • This was shortly after they lost a trade war with the United States (or did they?)

They deliberately released this virus to the public, its goal? To infect hundreds of millions and kill a large portion of them, all to destabilise the governing bodies. In addition, it will bring an unprecedent amount of bankruptcy to the developed world, where the economy is not able to re coup. Then China will be like hey guys “Hear about this great idea called communism? Money is fake and the government will look after everything” You will never starve, worry about a roof over your head or want for anything. Except for: democratic freedom, basic human rights, Taiwan and the oil in the South China Sea. All of those belong to us now. You want to know why this is true. We need to go back to the start let me state those facts again for you:

“COVID 19 or Coronavirus started when it mutated from an infected Pangolin in the Wuhan District, one of the busiest manufacturing centres in the world.”

You know what these two things have in common? Most sheepeople would say “Not a thing Meldore, you’re sleep deprived and falling down a rabbit hole, just go back to making puppets out of your fingers. At least that way you won’t be alone during social isolation.”

Yeah well you are WRONG! Besides I am fighting with Jerry, Charles, Samantha, Edward and Tina they stole the last of my honey ☹. More importantly, they have everything in common. Specifically, Central America.

You might be thinking, “This still has nothing to do with Coronavirus” You know what is in Central America? It is the native habitat of the Armadillo and, the birthplace of the refreshing beverage Corona’s! Coincidence? I think not! The Pangolin, looks like a retarded Armadillo and, the Corona uses limes to keep away flies. “But Meldore, what do flies have to do with the current pandemic?”

Absolutely nothing! Or that is what China wants you to think. You know what it does have something to do with? CUBA! See the lime, a common citric fruit is used to keep away flies from your beer. Which are also used in the popular beverage invented in Cuba, The Mojito and they, also have flies there too (no armadillos, but that isn’t what we’re focusing on). It is all coming full circle. Guess what sort of political party is in our power? THE COMMUNIST PARTY.

In summary, Coronavirus is being spread to destabilise the world economy just enough to cause a mass capitalism extinction. This will allow China and Cuba to spread their ideology throughout the developed world. People are, however, subconsciously suspicious of this and that is why people are boycotting Coronas!.

Mic Drop

submitted by /u/meldore
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracytheories/comments/frgr5p/my_elaborate_conspiracy_satire_mostly/

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