Liberal Scientists Are Committed to Discovering New Species to Cover Up Cryptid Extinction

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Every day it seems, we hear hundreds of species go extinct due to logging, drilling, pollution, you name it. Simultaneously, we are constantly inundated with messaging from the “scientific elite” that a New Species of worm or something was discovered.

I suspect foul play. I suspect radical fringe scientists are in a desperate race against Illuminati cryptid hunters to preserve “diversity” and give their weak-minded liberal fandom false hope: something to invest their money in so these scientists are not exposed for what they are: the ultimate sucklings of the teat of the nanny state.

That would explain why we’re made to feel bad for forgetting to recycle every plastic bottle we consume, when the truth is plastic bottled water simply tastes superior, and is a convenient way to hydrate.

submitted by /u/soda_rain
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracytheories/comments/hml8vm/liberal_scientists_are_committed_to_discovering/

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