Oh hi indra, how are you my love?

As far as the I can see, my identity is a conceptual construct used to navigate a society consisting of people identifying with their own constructs of identity that are created by the collective as a whole, the whole interconnected system, the net, the galaxies and the space in-between, outside and in, all of it adds up to express every particular segment, but this adding up requires no addition, as the idea of separation in the first place is just an idea and not an actuality.

But how can you identify with someone you don't know? How can you know yourself? You can only know yourself in terms of an other, just as you can only know light with the contrast of darkness, not that either party must take on the role of being the villain or the hero, just that you'll only ever know yourself as well as you know all of that which is not you.

You cannot be separated from the entirety of things, just as a tree cannot be separated from the soil it grows in, or the atmospheric conditions, the weather and all that the tree is not is required you see, it's all very pertinent for the tree to exist as the tree exists in the very particular way that the tree exists.

Once you reach this level of observation a rabbit hole presents itself to dive into that is mapped out to some degree by many conflicting ideological belief systems, and it becomes increasingly difficult the deeper you go down the hole to know what you're looking for, because your point of view is wildly different than that of everyone else's. You're you. Your interpretations of expelled information by other humans, through the language that you were given, after translation, might cause you to figure of speech the world. Oh no it's not actually that, it's this. It's not this, thus it must ultimately be it. What is it? Oh, well you see, it is that, and that is this, and this causes that, and that is it. How is it? Well, it is how it is because of this being that and that being this, this being this way allows for that and thus, it.

But you're looking for something.

And you want so badly to find it.

And there is a point of no return on this journey, where the lines and shading of who you are aren't so defined, or maybe they just keep getting bolder, but you can't tell.

In Zen Buddhism, this is defined as the gateless gate.

The gateless gate is crossed through by an individual who isn't aware he is crossing through a gate, and when he turns around, the gate isn't there, but neither is he.

Identity with the pattern of thought that is made up of the language that your culture uses as a medium of conveying concepts collectively, and ascribing definite ownership to these thoughts as your thoughts, thought by you, you being the thinker, accepting that which society has provided you as the limits of your own identity, and becoming totally convinced that you're running the show, that you really ought to think things through because you reap what you sow baby, and you better play by the rules, you better control yourself!

You better nothing in this pursuit of control.

The things you gain won't be appreciated.

The things you lose either.

You'll see everyone through a lense of expectation, of expected action and normal behavior. Behave yourself. Don't do that Timmy, people don't go on that side of the road. Just fall into line. Just look around, observe the way others are and be as Just, Justly, you'll get exactly where Just is. Just, the man who never ever knew he could be as he is without consequence, Just, the man who never realized the ideas of who he is are Just ideas.

You'll be seen in the same light.

Everyone will expect YOU to ACT, To BE in control.

Responsibility huh. You say we need accountability? We have to assign blame where it's due? There has to be somebody to aquire this fault! What have you done, just? Did you go out and be evil? Just, what the fuck man. Are you serious? Go to jail. Nobody wants to see you.

This is an issue that mostly goes unanswered.

Why is there evil? For the same reason there is good. Why. Why can't everything be perfect? Because you don't want it to be. You'd never take a sunny day over a rainy one if it never rained, the trees would begin to die, for they would have no water and no soft soil for the roots to grow through. You need This darkness. You don't know light without it. This doesn't mean you should express the evils in yourself, but you should let them mingle with your light.

Suffering is unavoidable. But that's half the coin baby and it's flipping, change is the only constant.

If you enjoy the comfort of pleasure, to truly know that comfort you must suffer.

The polarity of experience in life is unavoidable.

Accepting this is where growth is unavoidable.

Accepting yourself.

If you have the guts to really let go of everything you know, and I mean right down to the nitty gritty of things. Throw it all out the window. Everything. Even yourself.

Let go of it all.

Then maybe you can accept yourself.

Maybe then you can really see what you really are.

But you can't walk through the gate intentionally.

Maybe your intentions aren't actually to walk through the gate, but to pace around the entrance for eternity looking at everything really attentively, do I really wanna go through that gate?

Maybe the gate was never there, and the way that you see it as being a point that you pass through is your false apprehensions of the way time functions.

Time? What is time? Time is so very important to us humans. It's a fabric, a solid real thing that exists in a material way, an undeniable way. Or does it? Is time real? Of course it is, we can perceive that it is passing so it must be real, because we can observe it in real time, as it's passing, we see the past escape our grasp and we begin to grab the next hold on the rope of time, pulling it into a coil in our heads. We pull on the rope right? Nope. We don't pull the rope. The rope comes to us inevitably. Just like the next thought that pops into your head, it's arrival is inevitable. The thought that you have, the one that is observed, the one that you observe, isn't that just so fucking funny? I mean that is fucking hilarious. OOP gotta get gas I'm at 1/4 of a tank. Why did you need to get gas? Because you were almost out. Why did you have that thought to get get gas? Because you observed within your environmental conditions, that the gauge indicated you were nearing an empty tank of gas and you can't go anywhere with that, everybody knows that, but everyone is missing the point, and that point is realizing the world is not pushing you around, but that you are an integral aspect of the world, and you can fall down when it pushes you, and it will pick you up again, you are part of this thing, and it is a part of you. But there is no separation. There are no parts. Get the gas, and keep driving on the road, going where the road goes. Don't get off track now Timmy, you've got a lot to learn. Come on, the road is fun, it goes places. Don't be afraid of the road. Drive fucker.

Existence is suffering.

That is the answer you find.

You can't separate the negative from the positive or there will be no neutral.

All the pain from your past is an after image, frames on the tape of life, and you keep looking at them, hurting yourself in an effort to understand what you so clearly missed.

You missed the moment.

What is here, right now, to carry on with.

You can change, but only with the help of everything outside of you changing.

Once you see differently, you will be differently.

But you cannot deviate from seeing the way you see, it is done totally on it's own.

You see because you have eyes, and those were given to you.

You're a human so obviously you'll have eyes, but you didn't decide that they could only see .0035% of light.

It's just the way it is. We can explain why the visible spectrum is what it is in the context of everything else, but it's much simpler to just know intuitively that what we see is what we need to see.

I wish you could see you as I do, because then you wouldn't be so hard on yourself.

You would own the lines and the shading, the colors, the paper and the pencils, and you would be as you are, without the pressure to be any other way.

But you could never see with such clarity, because then you would have me telling you who you are, telling me who I am, telling you who you are, telling me who I am, telling infinitum, and you would see right through your own reflection, and at that point the mirror shatters. What a beautiful web. I love it.

Anyone wanna go to the beach? I've got a hammock, but no trees to hang it on because this damn water keeps waving.

submitted by /u/RelaxingJax
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source https://www.reddit.com/r/C_S_T/comments/nw4n3f/oh_hi_indra_how_are_you_my_love/